


Pit Stop

by pickledragon



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Fluff, Ford Pines is a Good Brother, Gen, Glass Shard Beach (Gravity Falls), Happy Ending, Implied Bad Parenting, Mystery, One Shot, Sibling Bonding, Stan Pines is a Good Brother, look man its a monster hunting rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 21:15:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickledragon/pseuds/pickledragon
Summary: Stan narrowed his eyes. "Oh wait, I recognize them: they're the Sibling Bothers.""Brothers," Ford corrected."Same thing."Stan and Ford make a trip back to Glass Shard Beach, but when they run into the Sibling Brothers, things escalate quickly. Will our heroes be able to make it out alive? Or will they have to surrender their titles of Best Cryptid Catchers in Glass Shard?
Relationships: Ford Pines & Stan Pines
Comments: 10
Kudos: 66





	Pit Stop

**Author's Note:**

> I was lucky enough to be chosen as a contributor for Epilogue: A Lost Legends Fanzine for the last story, The Jersey Devil's in the Details!  
> This is the director's cut, as seen in the Wips PDF :)
> 
> Check out everyone else's pieces at lost-legends-zine.tumblr.com!

It was mid-afternoon in Glass Shard Beach when the second-most barnacle-encrusted vessel it had ever seen pulled into the harbor. Obvious wear and care covered the ship, from dents in the well cleaned deck to the name "Stan O’' War" on its side, shaky from re-paintings.

A loud voice boomed from the cabin as a tall figure in a flowing trench coat emerged to dock the ship. 

"You kids don't know the half of it! Ya know, just last week—"

"Save some of the storytelling for me, Stan!" Ford shouted from the deck. "We both made first contact with the lost city of Atlantis, after all!" He finished tying the line to a post onshore and headed back into the Stan O' War. 

Inside, Stan was gesturing grandly, miming a rather annoyed squid in a medieval helmet. The computer screen in front of showed the rapt faces of their great niece and nephew, their eyes darting back and forth with each statement. 

"—And then, I punched the lead chariot driver in the face!" Stan punctuated the statement with a wild swing.

Ford sighed fondly and came to rest his arm on the back of Stan's chair. "Which probably wasn't the best conduct for a formal Atlantean race." 

Stan waved away the comment. "That shark-man had it coming to him." 

"In other news," Ford leaned closer to the camera. "Has Stanley told you both where we’re refueling today?" They shook their heads. "Well, today, we've stopped off where it all began: Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey!"

Mabel gasped in delight while Dipper frowned. "Wait, wasn't Grunkle Stan banned from New Jersey? Like, 70 years ago?" 

“Cops can’t arrest anyone they can’t catch!”  
Rolling his eyes, Ford said “Stan has assured me he was only blacklisted here under a false name. Probably.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, Sixer.” Stan winked at the laptop and Mabel stifled a snicker. “Anyways, we’ve been talking to you kids for hours—we should round this call off. Maybe go outside, roll in the weeds, whatever it is kids do nowadays.” 

“Call us back later and tell us all about your adventure!” Dipper said.

“My boy, this town has been quiet ever since we drove away the Jersey Devil in grade school. It’ll just be a routine pit stop.”

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other dubiously.  
“Yeah, no way.”  
“Absolutely not.”

Before Ford could argue, Mabel pressed her face into the camera to yell “Okaynowbyehaveagreattime!” and the screen went dark. 

Stan chuckled at Ford’s expression. “Those kids are a real riot. How about we head outside and find some fuel?  
Ford smiled. “Sounds great to me.”

The sun shone brightly on the beach, glass glinting amongst haphazardly constructed sandcastles. Kids ran to and fro on the pier, a few swerving to avoid Stan and Ford as they made their way off the boat.

Stan slapped the side of the Stan O’ War. “Looks like we’re going to need to replace our emergency fuel reserves as well. That’s what we get for going full throttle on the way here.”

“To outrun those selkies, I’m glad we did,” Ford held out a hand to help Stan down onto the sand. “Now all we need to do is find somewhere to buy it. I don’t think Glass Shard has had a marina since the 1970s.”

“We know our way around, Ford. It can’t have changed that much since we left!” Stan raised his nose to the air. “Air smells like saltwater taffy and seagull food. Just like old times, am I right?”  
“It is pretty similar,” Ford admitted. A smile spread across his face. “We lived on this beach. Remember all those treasure hunts we set up?”

“It’s like being a kid again,” Stan agreed, “Though I don’t seem to remember all of these being here. ” The whole beach was dotted with, on closer examination, what appeared to be advertisements. He stopped and examined one of the boards. 

Ford made a face. “Why are there so many signs for something called… ‘The Throwback Rag? Connoisseur of Curios, Cryptids, and Other C-Words?’”

“It just seems like your dime-a-dozen tourist trap,” Stan scoffed. “And judging by the quality of these signs: not even a good one!” He aimed a kick at the nearest one and it spun around to its reverse. The back read: ‘We also sell the only fuel in town.’

He rolled his eyes. “No. We are not spending our time back in Glass Shard going to some hokey attraction. We could do that at home!”  
“Look at it this way, Stan—we’re headed into town anyway. We’ll be in to see if they have diesel fuel, and then out.”  
Stan groaned. “Fine, but you’re on hull cleaning duty next time.” 

As they made their way into town, the familiar sights started to fade, replaced by the inevitable changes of time. 

“There’s the old pawn shop! Looks like it got turned into a deli—those suckers probably had to dig my caterpillar city out of the walls. Ha! And there’s your favorite bookshop!—nevermind, it got bought out by a chain.” Stan’s boots crunched on the late fall leaves as they strolled down Glass Shard proper. Though the facades remained, almost every business in their sleepy town had been replaced. It left Ford feeling more than a little unmoored.

“At least we’ve still got the memories,” Ford said, “Hey, I think our alma mater is just around the corner!” 

Stan winced. “Let’s not, Ford. That high school is nothing but bad memories.” Ford frowned, and attempted to say something more when Stan cut him off. “And there’s the dumb monster emporium! It looks worse than when I ran the Murder Hut!” He tugged his arm and led him under the flickering neon sign emblazoned with a crude outline of a magnifying glass. “Ford, you were so right: we need to go in just to make fun of it.”

Ford sighed and dropped his inquiry. Stan would talk when he was ready. In the meantime, his eyes were immediately drawn to the large tank in the window. “Are those… actual mini-mermen?! I could never manage to catch any in the wild!” 

“Well stop gawking at ‘em, Sixer, and let’s go in! Nothing a six-finger discount can’t afford.” He winked and pushed the door open.

“Stanley, we can’t steal from a—” Ford stopped at the threshold, his eyes growing wide. The store consisted of one large room with a confusing, tacky layout… but filled with the sixth-largest collection of crypto-content he had ever seen. And it was all real. Rare alien gemstones, prehistoric bones, and cases all along the walls of every oddity he had ever encountered in Glass Shard Beach.

Stan appeared at his side, arms full with fuel tanks. “This place is the worst tourist attraction I’ve seen in ages. Surprised they haven’t been run out of town yet, am I right?”

“Quite the opposite,” he said, running his hands across a chip of wood from a ghost ship. “Stan, everything here is legitimately paranormal! I think it might be the fourth-largest collection on Earth!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. This place? Who in Glass Shard would even be able to get all this stuff?”

“Ascot, some new customers have arrived!” A bald man, about their age, rounded the corner with his arms full of the signs they had seen outside. His sweater-vest and collared shirt were emblazoned with the same logo from the shop front. “Well, my eyes do deceive me, it’s the Pines twins, back after so long! Weren’t you banned from this state? Don’t worry, I’d never tell!” He sidled close to Stan as Ford gaped.

Stan leaned away from the contact. “I have no idea who you are.”

Ford eyed the man in the vest as he looked apologetically at Stan. “They’re the…”

“How nifty, Dickie! I heard the sound of old friends from back in the storeroom,” A second man with identical features strolled out from behind the cash register. His perfectly coiffed gray hair completed his ensemble of an ascot, red sweater, and pressed lab-coat. “Some chin with chums would really make this day!” 

Stan narrowed his eyes. “Oh wait, I recognize them: they’re the Sibling Bothers.” 

“Brothers,” Ford corrected, eyes still flitting between the curios and the duo who owned them.

“Same thing.”

Dickie and Ascot moved to stand back to back with identical grins. “The one and only!” They proceeded to laugh heartily in the middle of the store, earning side looks from the sentient saltwater taffy along the wall.

“I think they’re trapped in the 60s,” Stan whispered to Ford. “Only way to explain all that hideous wallpaper.”

“We may be 60, Stanley Pines, but our hearing hasn’t gone just yet!” Ascot winked at Stan, who shifted uncomfortably.

Dickie leaned in. “Anyways, I’m sure you both are dying to hear how we’ve been doing!”

“Not really—”  
“That is the exact opposite of what I want to hear.”

“Well,” Dickie continued, without pausing, “Ascot and I have become quite the entrepreneurs! He completes his postdoctoral studies in the back while I run the business end of things! We both hunt for new attractions at night, of course.”

“Meanwhile, back at the ranch…” Ascot elbowed his brother jauntily.

“Of course, we’ve yet to ask our pals here what they’ve made of themselves! How have Glass Shard’s third-smartest graduate and local truant fared?”

“I’m suddenly remembering why I hate you two. But if you wanna know,” Stan gave a showman’s smile and slung his arm around Ford, “We’ve been exploring the world, searching for paranormal activity! I run a place like this, but better, up in Oregon, and Ford’s spent over 40 years studying the supernatural!”

“What a fantastic story!” Dickie snickered, “Shame to say that’s some tosh if I've ever heard of it.”  
“Agreed, Ascot. We can’t have any works of fiction in our establishment—you two would best bug out,” he said, gesturing to the door.

“I’ll have you know we’re as fake as your dumb store!” Stan interjected angrily. “I will not hesitate to throw your own fuel on those dumb sweaters!”

“Well, if you two are as legendary as you say… how’s about we have ourselves a little competition? Brothers against brothers: we each have until tomorrow morning to find the best cryptid here in Glass Shard. If you win, we’ll pay for anything you’d like to buy.”

“And if you win?” Stan prompted.

“Well, then we’ll just have to hold onto our title as best spook sleuths and paranormal peepers around! All we ask is for a donation to our lovely cryptid collection.”

“A small competition shouldn’t mean anything to such accomplished adventurers!” Ascot added, “Unless you Pines are all show and no go…”

“We could run mystery circles around you two!” Stan shouted.

Ford held him back and scowled at the two. “Come on, Stan. This is beneath us. Goodbye. We’ll find somewhere else to buy fuel.” He turned to walk out the door and Stan followed reluctantly.

“Well Ascot, there you have it. What would you expect from a high school dropout and a freak? People never really change, especially not weirdos like them.”

Stan looked crestfallen. Ford swiveled around to face the Sibling Brothers and narrowed his eyes. “You know what? You’re on. See you tomorrow, at the pier. Bring your best: it won’t be good enough.”

Ascot smirked. “Now that’s what I like to hear! There may be hope for you yet.”  
Dickie pulled the fuel out of Stan’s hands and shoved them towards the door. “Now get going! You only have 18 hours to accomplish the impossible!” He flipped over the open sign and slammed the door.

The sun shone over the unfamiliar landscape, and Ford squinted against the light. “I’m starting to think this may have been a bad idea,” he admitted.  
Stan scoffed. “Come on Ford, you’re a genius and I’m the best swindler Glass Shard’s ever produced!” He grabbed Ford’s arm and waved his arm across the sky. “There’s absolutely no way we could come back empty-handed!”

\-----

“Well, we’re pretty much empty handed.” Stan stated as they walked back towards the beach. It was completely dark when they finally made it back to the Stan O’ War. The deck wobbled slightly as they climbed aboard and their voices echoed through the quiet harbor.

“I’m sorry that one didn’t pan out. At least it was nice to see the old carny crew,” Ford admitted. “I didn’t know they’d added a dolphin tightrope walker!”

“The crab cult on the beach was a bust too— who knew they’d take me calling them ‘shrink-wrapped lobsters’ as an act of war?” Stan groused as Ford shrugged. 

“I’m glad the Jersey Devil left in any case. He didn’t deserve to be hunted another time, by us or the Sibling Brothers.”

“If all else fails, we can always find another possum and strap a razor to him. Or a laser gun,” Stan said jokingly.

Ford sighed as they entered the cabin of the ship. “I really am sorry we didn’t find anything, Stan. I know this competition was important to you.”  
“It doesn’t matter that much, Ford. I’m sorry you’ll have to lose some of your 8-finned fish.”  
“It’s alright Stan, I have DNA samples,” Ford said dismissively. “The real question is if you’re going to be okay.”

“S’not like we haven’t lost to the Sibling Brothers before.” Stan chuckled sadly. “It’ll be just like old times.” He turned his back and disappeared into his room.

Ford frowned and turned to reassure Stan, but his door had already shut. He came to a decision. There was only one thing to do: dig through his old stash.

“How much harm could it do, to even the odds a little?” Ford reasoned to himself as he retrieved a tupperware container from the beside the spices in the kitchen. Removing the lid, he dumped the assortment of costume jewelry, dusty mini-manuals, and souvenir magnets onto the counter. “Let’s see… ‘How to Summon Cthulhu in Three Easy Steps:’ a little too extreme. ‘Unholy Demonic Pelican in a Jar, Just Add Water:’ too easy. I need something that’ll beat anything the Sibling Brothers can come up with.” 

His eyes fell on an oddly glowing amulet under a coverless copy of Tome of the Unknown. Ah, he remembered that one: a powerful artifact from Dimension 98*3. 

Perfect.

\-----

The moon was just starting to disappear behind the early morning clouds as they made their way to the agreed-upon location.

“Why are we even going to meet these guys? To admit we lost?” Stan groused, “Let’s scram before they notice and find fuel somewhere else. Know what? Let’s just rob their store.”

“No, Stan, we’re not stealing from the Sibling Brothers,” He sighed, wistfully thinking of the artifacts inside the Throwback Rag, “Even if they deserve it.”

The Sibling Brother’s silhouettes were visible in the distance near the craggy rocks close to the beach caves. Beside them was a large shape twice their height. “We’re here, Ford, no need to keep pulling me around,” Stan rolled his eyes. “Let’s get this over with.”

Upon closer examination, the two brothers were framed by a hulking mass of a sheet, underneath which two tan feet could be seen. Ascot waved, “Ah, there you are! We were starting to think you two were no-shows!”

“I hope you’ve brought your a-game, because we certainly have!” Dickie added. With a flourish, he tore off the sheet, revealing a bound and rather uncomfortable looking humanoid. “Presenting: the one and only Sand Yeti! We found them wandering in the caves near the beach! They’ll make a marvelous addition to our storefront!” 

“Once again, a marvelous job done, dear Dickie.” Ascot winked.  
“Right you are, Ascot,” Dickie replied. “There’s a reason we’re still known as… “  
“The ginchiest gumshoes in Glass Shard!” They finished together. “Jinx, you owe me a coke!”

Stan’s face held a look of unadulterated disgust. “I hate you both. So much.”

Dickie turned back to the Pines brothers. “Hate us you may, but I notice you rubes have nothing to show, in spite of all your posturing.”  
“I hope you’ve got your donation to the Throwback Rag ready,” Ascot added.

Stan scowled. “Fine, you beat us! But there’s no way we’re going to give you any—”

“Ah!” Ford interrupted, “I seem to have forgotten to mention—we have a cryptid as well!” 

Stan gave him a look of confusion as he beckoned the Sibling Brothers closer to the shoreline. “Ford, we don’t have anything.”

Ford beamed at Stan and tugged on a chain attached to a nearby rock jutting out of the water. “Then how do you explain… this?” With a lurch, the rock was wrenched forward, tipping dangerously close to the water as a single purple claw emerged from the ocean. 

Stan stared. “What. The @#&!. Is that.”

Ford beamed. “It’s a sharksquid, to the best of my knowledge. Give or take a couple strains of crab-like alien DNA.” He pulled a sandwich bag out of his pocket and proceeded to throw shrimp into the water. Each splash was met with an answering snap of teeth and claw. The Sibling Brothers had gone rather pale. With a showman’s twirl, Ford threw the last shrimp high in the air, and a boiled-looking, verdantly purple mass followed it into the air.

Stan took one look at the writhing mass of tentacles and swirling teeth and announced, “I’m naming him Jaws Armstrong.”

“That’s a horrible name, Stanley”

“Look, Sixer,” Stan hissed, “You get the eldritch horror, I get to name it. How did you even get him?”

Ford tugged the glowing amulet briefly from his pocket. The ruby light shone oddly in the early morning. “I had a Monster Assembler I hadn’t used from my time in the multiverse.” At Stan’s skeptical look, he rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, he’s perfectly stable. We simply need to grip this amulet to send him back inside.” 

In an ironic circumstance under the waves, the rope holding the sharksquid to the rock started to fray.

Stan took a deep breath. “Ford, you summoned an eldritch horror into Glass Shard Beach to get back at our childhood rivals. This situation doesn't look good. I’m even being responsible for once!”

Ford waved away the accusation. “The whole thing was stacked against us anyway. They know the area better and probably hunted every cryptid to extinction. I’m just giving them a taste of real competition.” Dickie and Ascot’s eyes darted back and forth between the brothers as the argument continued to escalate.”

Stan crossed his arms. “I still don’t like this.”

“Technically, I found him in the ocean right by the beach, so he still counts for the contest.“

“Ford, I’m not talking about the cheating. Cheating was my fake middle name. I’m talking about the giant sharksquid that looks like it could destroy the entire town if it got loose!”

“When have you ever cared about collateral damage?”

“When it could hurt my boat!”

“Stanley, I was just doing my best to help! I didn’t see you coming up with anything!”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault? Blame those idiots for their stupid overpriced diesel monopoly!”

Dickie hid himself behind the long leg of the Sand Yeti, who was still quite unhappy to be there.

“Oh yes, thank you for the reminder, Stan.” Ford rounded on Ascot, who shrank back in fright. “Would you like to be the judge of this competition?”

In the water, there was an audible snap. 

“Uh, Ford?”

“Not now Stanley, I’m trying to tell these hooligans that we’re clearly the victors.”

“Ford, Jaws Armstrong is gone.”

“I told you, we’re not calling him that—wait what.”

With a roar, the sharksquid rose from the harbor—bringing most of its water with them.  
A giant whirlpool consumed the bay, every ship floating in pieces or whole in its grasp, and the two brothers were buffeted by the winds of a sudden storm bearing upon the entirety of Glass Shard Beach.

“Ford, it might be a good time to use that dumb amulet!” Stan bellowed over the wind. 

“I was just going to do that,” Ford snapped as he reached in his coat. Suddenly, a crack tore through the air and the sandy rocks below their feet. The glowing sphere flung out of his pocket into an oncoming tidal wave. 

There was a flash of light and Ford paled. “I think… the Assembler just reactivated.”

“What does that mean?!” Ascot yelled. 

“It means we’re about to have more company,” Ford said grimly.

Dickie shifted nervously. “Ascot, we’d better cut out before things get too messy.”  
Ascot’s face briefly switched from panic to mild nervousness as he answered, “Right you are, Chrome Dome.” He tugged on the sand-yeti’s rope to lead him back to shore.

A crash tore through the air as the hull of a ship, thankfully not the Stan O’ War, landed right between the Sibling Brothers and the Sand Yeti. Finding their rope snapped, the creature took this moment to rightfully flee for the hills. 

The Pines watched the Sand Yeti leave with a sense of relief that was short lived, as the boat piece groaned. It fell to one side, revealing glowing bugs chewing holes through the metal, right next to the Sibling Brothers. Ascot and Dickie gulped nervously. 

Their beady eyes turned towards the motion, and they advanced upon them with keening wails. 

“Ugh, and now we have to save those jerks,” Stan grimaced. 

“We probably should,” Ford said. They looked at each other expectantly as the sound of the Sibling Brothers’ shrieks grew louder. 

“Fine, I’ll take this one,” Ford acquiesced. With a single fluid motion, he pulled his laser gun from its holster on his hip. Heading towards the remains of the boat, he aimed at the bugs one by one, and gestured the brothers away from the caracasses. The Sibling Brothers took a running leap into a nearby box of tackle. 

“Now that that’s taken care of,” Ford declared icily, “I believe you and I were having a conversation?”

“Argument, you mean.” Stan’s tone matched only Ford’s in its gruffness. “Why was this so important to you?”

“I could ask you the same thing!”

“I was ready to drop it, but you’re the one who summoned that bill-forsaken sharksquid! What were you even thinking? You can’t just summon the paranormal on a whim!”

“Stanley! This was not spur of the moment! I’ll have you know I—”

The ocean seemed to expand outwards as the full body of the sharksquid emerged from the water, towering above the bay. Its claws swiped menacingly at the sand while its tentacles seemed to pull the entire sea closer into a spiral in front of it. Inside the water, the amulet pulsed, sending waves of creatures into the whirlpool. 

Stan and Ford decided this would be a good opportunity to regroup. They ducked behind a particularly large outcropping of rock to continue their argument. 

“I’ve used Monster Assemblers dozens of times and they’ve never gone this badly! I had a plan…” Ford trailed off. “Stanley, I don’t know why this competition was so important to you, but I only did it because I didn’t want to see you hurt.”

They glared at each other for moments on end, as the noise around them faded into the background. 

Stan broke first. He scowled. “Fine! I just wanted to prove to you that I’m better than I used to be! Happy?!”

“What on earth are you talking about, Stan?”

He looked at the ground and drew circles in the sand, not meeting Ford’s eyes. “We used to do this stuff here all the time as kids: search for mysteries, get into scraps. I guess I just wanted to prove to you that I’m still a good partner. That I wouldn't hold you back, like with the dumb jersey devil. With everything back then, really.”

Ford huffed and sat down next to him. “Maybe I did a little too far. I guess the whole thing was about pride. Pride in myself, having come so far since our childhood. But also pride in you.”

Stan glanced up. “Me? Really?”

“Of course, Stanley. You’ve done so many amazing things, some that I couldn’t even do. You rebuilt the portal without any help, paid for Soos’ schooling, saved everyone from Weirdmageddon! His tone turned wistful. You’ve always been great, without even trying, and I always messed things up.”

“You? A screwup? No way! Stan turned Ford around to face him. “You’re you! You’ve always been the bravest guy I know, even when we were kids! You outsmarted all our bullies and found every mystery! And now, you’re Stanford Pines, hero of the multiverse! And,” he added, “My brother.”

Ford laughed. “Why did we even do this stupid competition in the first place? We’re a dynamic duo all our own. We don’t need the recognition of some childhood rivals to prove that.”

“I blame the free diesel fuel.”

They embraced, briefly but tightly, and a tentacle crashed to shore, scattering debris over their heads. 

“And that gives me an idea!” Ford exclaimed, resisting the urge to shoot to his feet. “We need to get the amulet out of the whirlpool, right?”

“Yeah?” 

“The best way to do that is for one of us to go inside! The other will distract the sharksquid and draw it away,” Ford reasoned. “I suppose I’ll need to do the distracting… I doubt brass knuckles will be much use at a distance.”

“Hey, these puppies have saved your kisser more times than I can count,” Stan retorted “Are you sure I should get the amulet? I don’t even know how to work the thing.”

“Trust me, my laser gun will be more effective. And I trust you.” He reassured Stan with a firm squeeze to his shoulder. “There’s no one else better for the job.”

Stan smiled. “Okay, split on three. One, two, RUN!”

Ford jumped up and ran to the far edge of the beach, where the sharksquid’s teeth were busy devouring rather unlucky vessels. From the depths of his coat, he drew a focusing crystal and attached it to the front of his gun. “Hey! Over here! Fresh scientist to devour!”

As the sharksquid turned his way, Stan took a leap from the pier nearest the glowing light of the amulet. He managed to land on a tan object that he assumed was driftwood from the wrecked parts of the pier. It was, unfortunately, extremely fleshy. And had eyes. And steam engines?

“Hot belgian waffles, I think I’m jumping on living minature boats. Why are there living boats in this whirlpool?!”

“I didn’t really think about the types of creatures; the Assembler has no set parameters—it could have summoned anything!” Ford shouted back as he sent a rather powerful shot into the water near the tail of the beast. “Just keep going!”

Stan shoved down his discomfort and used them to jump closer to the light, as Ford took pot-shots at the sharksquid. 

The amulet shone and seemed to dissolve and reform, leaving a waterspout in its location, shooting projectiles. 

A crowd of flying clams made their way to Stan, knocking him off balance. He tried to keep his feet on the fleshy boat while swatting away the pests, but was failing miserably. 

“Pines, Catch!” Stan swiveled his head just in time to see Dickie throw him a large red net from the dock. “Don’t think this means we’re giving you two a pass,” he shouted, “We need someone to defeat that monster, after all.”

Stan replied, “Wouldn’t dream of it!” and made sure to throw the next wave of winged clams straight towards the cowering duo. 

A couple hops more and he could see the faint gold outline of the amulet beneath the surface. From a distance, he could hear the sharksquid’s yells getting louder: they were running out of time. Stan spared a look back towards the shore to see Ford quickly exchanging crystals attached to his gun and Dickie and Ascot throwing seaweed at the flying clams. 

“Well, this has been fun. But you’re no match for the Kings of New Jersey!”

His hand closed around the amulet and the world exploded in a flash of red light and flying fish.

When the mist settled, he could see everything put back vaguely where it used to be. The Stan O’ War had survived, but the emergency sail looked worse for wear. The rest of the dock and beach were covered with the contents of half the ocean. A single sharksquid tentacle floated near the rocks. The Sibling Brothers sat in shock near the water, covered in algae. 

Ford waved from the shore, relieved and smiling. “Stan! We did it!” 

Stan sent a whoop back to shore. He directed his next yell towards the Sibling Brothers. “So, did we win?” 

The Pines twins’ laughter was loud enough to fill the whole beach.

\-----

Their boots squeaked on the metal portions of the dock on the walk back to the boat, the amulet a metronome in Ford's hand. The sky had just begun to lighten when Stan began to speak. “Did you really mean what you said back there?”

“About the Sibling Brothers? I have no doubt their unethical practices are going to end poorly for their business.”

“You know what I mean, Ford. About us, about when we were kids.”

“Of course I did, you knucklehead.” Ford clapped him on the shoulder affectionately. “You’ve never held me back. Don’t you remember what I said back then? We look out for each other.”

“We stick together," Stan echoed.  
Ford smiled. “Darn right. We’ve come pretty far together, and I’m planning to go a whole lot farther.”

“Thanks Ford. Even though I got us into this dumb competition in the first place,” Stan said.  
“At this point, I feel comfortable calling it a group effort.” They laughed as the sun rose higher. 

When they made it back to their boat, Ford almost tripped over the pile of diesel tanks on the pier. “Well,” Ford remarked, “I guess they owned up to their part of the bargain. Even though we cheated.”

Stan protested, “Hey, technically they did too! I bet they took that shark-squid tentacle back to their shop as soon as we left.” He grabbed Ford’s hand and helped him into the boat.

“This visit turned out to be an adventure after all,” Ford declared as they carted the containers below deck. “It wasn’t quite what I expected, but I’m glad I got to spend it with you.”

“Yeah. me too. Either way, it’ll make a great story to tell the kids,” Stan smiled.

Inside his slightly drenched coat, Ford’s phone began to ring. He fished it out of his pocket: the whole device stank of sand-yeti, but its screen had survived to show the twins’ caller ID. “Speak of the jersey devil.” 

Accepting the call, he held the screen up to show his and Stan’s seaweed covered, smiling faces. “Dipper and Mabel, you won’t believe what happened today.”  
Dipper laughed at the camera. “Try us.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wkh vdqg-bhwl hvfdshv dqg pdnhv lw edfn wr klv vdqg-qlhfhv dqg vdqg-qhskhzv.  
> Dvfrw lv yhub surxg ri klv wrxshh.
> 
> Find me at learningthomas.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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